You may have noticed I put a banner on the side of my blog, announcing that this past week is Modest Fashion Week (check out the link... it's a great blog). While I have not been on the computer much this week due to pre-home purchase "schtuff", I've been greatly encourage by the testimonies many of my friends have blogged in regards to their own personal journeys toward modesty.
I realize my own personal journey has not trascended into a great deal of change in how I dress, so much as it's been an issue of heart, a re-examing in why I wear what I do... and when it comes to the matter of heart, there's been a huge transformation over the years.
Growing up, I was probably every parents dream when it came to dressing modestly (trust me, I had my vices elsewhere). My parents were very straight forward in addressing this issue and I never had any opportunity to wear two-piece swimsuits, short shorts, or even speghetti strap shirts.... nor did I really challenge the notion much until high school.
Being home-schooled the majority of my young life, I was not under constant pressure to keep up with what was "in" with my public schooled peers at the time which greatly helped in this regard since I happened to enter my developing years during a time with short midriffs and mini-skirts were all the rage. As humorous as it is now, I can look back on my junior high and early high school years and laugh... I was the farthest thing from a fashion diva and seeing as I spent the majority of my time with my mom, my fashion sense showed it. Many of closest friends during these years were also home-schooled and likewise, they dressed conservately and more on the old-fogie side, which only affirmed my look. Needless to say, I can't recall many battles (if any) ensuing in our household about my wanting to wear anything my parents would not allow.
That's not to say I didn't push the buttons some in high school. Of all places to develop a discontent in how I looked, I found myself questioning what I had known as normal as my level of activity increased in youth group. That's right... I said youth group. Sometime between my freshman and sophomore years of high school my social scenery changed some as I spent much less time with our local home-school support group and more with my church's youth (which is prodomitately comprised of public school students). When my church friends would get into their social circles and talk about what they were wearing to prom or a school formal (or they brought pictures of their recent family vacations and they were clad in nothing more than a speck of a bikini top here and a bottom there, etc.) I began to realize there was a big difference in how I perceived modest attire and the way they did... and because I hadn't grown up making the choice to dress modestly- rather, I accepted my parents positions on modesty as my own until this point- I not only felt like the odd man (er, girl) out, I felt I was the one needing to change in order to fit in. Like every teenage girl, I desperately wanted not only the approval, but the affirmation, of my peers. During church camp and retreats, I would borrow friends' skirts and tops, feeling good that I looked like "everyone else".
Now this goes without mentioning that my youth minister instigated ground rules as far as what was allowed to be worn at retreats, camp, missions trips, etc. However, the rules on the lengths of shorts and skirts were much more lenient than I was used to at home. At the peak of my rebellion, I had a stash of Soffe shorts (very popular at the time) that I wore for church activities that I didn't wear at home (knowing my parents would disapprove). The "in" thing at the time was to roll the elastic band down several times so they were incredibly low riding and the seam on the back came just below your bottom... I think at our church rules were they were not to be rolled more than once or twice, though the amount is insignificant at this point. My desire to fit in with friends by far trumped any desire to show off more for the sake of male attention. Thank the Lord, I was so self-conscious I had no desire to show flaunt my body in any other type of provocative fashion... I merely wanted to be like my girl friends and if that meant wearing less in their company, so be it.
When I look back on this, I know it was only the grace of God that the peer pressure I faced was in such a safe environment as a youth group. Had I been in any other sort of social environment where the standards were much less, I would have been in for all sorts of trouble. As I mentioned before, I didn't want to look trashy; I didn't want any extra attention. I just wanted to fit in. And while the extent of my rebellion may have seemed trivial, the heart of the issue was severe... I was willing to forsake what I knew to be God's best as far as my standard of appearance, to try to be popular. The testimony may seem slight but I believe the Bible talks specifically about this issue. Proverbs 16:2 says, "People may be pure in their own eyes, but the LORD examines their motives." (NLT) Maybe there wasn't any issue in wearing what I wore, but I was not striving for God's best in my attitude towards modesty.
Which brought be to another stage in how I viewed modesty. After a year or so of trying to fit in, I somehow found a niche within the youth group that didn't require trying to be like everyone else. I became the worship leader girl... I enjoyed being a part of the band. And my best friend was (and is) a sweetheart of a gal that restled with her own issues on modesty; being the cheerleading captain at the biggest high school in town created all sorts of issues, but she stood her ground and made a decision on her own to start wearing more modest clothing.
I don't know what my fashion sense was at this point... somewhat of a trendy-preppy-combo with a mix of left over clothing from junior high that clearly didn't look teenage-esque at all(most likely because they were hand me downs from my mom). I felt comfortable in how I looked. I realized I didn't like looking like everyone else if it meant my conscience felt compromised. However, I started to develop an enormous amount of pride about taking "a higher road". What I didn't realize was that I was falling into mere moralism. It's ironic then that I was so offended by girls that wore only skirts, thinking they were the ones being legalistic (a big judgement on my part since I didn't personally know many that did, nor knew the motives of their hearts).
Through time, I began to realize how my exterior was not matching my interior. Sure, I was not attracting negative attention with what I wore, but I wore pride all over sleeves. It was certainly not a good look. Through a lot of prayer and accountability I began to see that what I wore could be an act of worship to God. If I chose to wear shorts that were longer than so-and-so's, it didn't make me any better or spiritually deeper... the point was (as is), how far could I go to glorify God in every capacity?... including how I presented myself.
In college, modesty remained an important facet to me. As a student that taught private lessons in the music department, I wanted to be taken seriously and I tried to dress the part. I never thought in a million years that I would meet my future spouse where I went to college... a secular university where I thought no good men existed. What a blessing that God in His goodness had moved me to try to remain pure (one of the biggest facets being in how I dressed)- even in a school where it felt like no one did- because as you all know, I met the love of my life (and hubby of almost 4 years!) at that very school. I believe dressing modestly was an integral part in Nick & my love story.
As a now married momma of one, it would seem the temptations to show skin may have long come and gone... after all, the skimpy clothes are for teenagers, right? I say laughingly, as weight as come on through the years, I'm more inclined to want extra coverage to hide my flaws anyways. However, I'm continually reminded that God in His infinite wisdom has commanded us women in His word to take a higher calling in our appearance, not to hinder us from creativity or freedom of expression, but because He wants to be glorified in our choice of appearance and in doing so, we most esteem and embrace our femininity. How empowering!!!
I do not find anywhere in Scripture that states how long a hemline should be (or whether women should only wear skirts and not pants, though some would debate this with me). However, I believe the much greater issue is the heart behind modesty and I know the Holy Spirit can (and will) impart on you His wisdom in how you discern what is right for you in this issue. For me, I chose not to wear anything above my knee, whether it be capris/shorts or a skirt, while some may conclude they feel they should only wear skirts. However you go about this issue, take heart that there are some wonderful retailers out there that are now make beautifully modest clothing (something I am highly encouraged by... as a homeschool alumni my family would receive ads from "modesty retailers" in the past, when in reality their clothing looked more like costumes from Little House in the Prairie). My friend Melissa mentioned in her post on modesty a wonderful resource that I've grown to love, Bellissima Modesty Boutique (check them out!). Another company that I really enjoy is called Down East Basics; I love that their clothing is so modest, but also so trendy (and very reasonably priced). These are companies that I want to endorse and support with my purchases, because I appreciate the efforts they are making to design beautiful and modest clothing. Last but not least... if you're looking to make skirts, check out Amy Butler's barcelona pattern online (there are many others, but this is simple to make and a cute basic). There are beautiful moderns fabrics out there that you can order to make hip and fun skirts (though don't take my word for it... check out Heather Bailey, Michael Miller, Amy Butler, and Sandi Hendersson's line of fabric... beautiful!!!!)
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